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  • Writer's pictureEmily Beloof, MA, MFTi

How to write yourself a love letter

You are the greatest love of your life. Here is one way to honor yourself.

Our relationship with our own self is the only one that spans from our first to our last breath. You are in this life with yourself whether you like it or not - it is a no-exit situation. I recommend learning to not only like yourself, but to revere, respect, and love your connection with self. Writing yourself love letters is one way to weave in love, respect, validation, compassion, and reverence into your relationship with yourself.


Step 1: Find your material. You may want to shop for a special card or stationary, or you may write the letter on scrap paper. The material does not matter - what matters is how you feel when you receive the letter.


Step 2: Address the letter to yourself. You can use the following: dear love of my life, dear loved one, dear beautiful one, dearest [your name], dear [nickname] or any other version that feels good.


Step 3: Validate yourself. These statements can go something like these:

  • I see how hard you have been working at...

  • I know that you have been trying hard to...

  • I see the progress you are making with...

  • I know how hard it was for you to...

  • I see the small steps you are taking towards your goal of...

Step 4: Praise yourself. These statements could look like these:

  • I am so proud of you for...

  • You are so brave for/to be...

  • Here are the amazing qualities I see you displaying...

  • You are [kind, courageous, hard-working, loving, etc]...

  • I am amazed that...

  • If people knew how hard you are working, they would...

  • You are an amazing [friend, partner, lover, daughter, mother]...

Step 5: Promise yourself. What do you need to promise to yourself to keep yourself happy, growing, and full of love and life? Here are some examples:

  • I promise to schedule a night of Netflix and snacks

  • I promise to take you to workouts next week

  • I promise to give you cuddles and hugs

  • I promise to stop being so mean to you

  • I promise to recognize you for everything you are doing

Step 6: Stamp and send! Address the letter to yourself. You can put a return address if you want or none at all. Stamp, send, and put it in the mail.


Your letter may arrive on the just the day or time when you need it most. Whenever you get the letter, allow yourself some time and space to really let the words sink in. Allow yourself to be receptive to the love, praise, validation, and promises of self-care you sent to yourself. Allow these letters to strengthen an alliance of love with yourself - one that is rooted in worthiness, kindness, and connection.


Happy letter writing!

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