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  • Writer's pictureEmily Beloof, MA, MFTi

3 Quick and Easy Steps to Increase Daily Pleasure

Pleasure? As in the experience of luxuriating in a joyful, yummy, or beautiful experience? Am I crazy? Do I know how busy you are between the kids/your workout/commute and life goals?

Yes, I do. And I am convinced that this is all the more reason to intentionally increase your experience of pleasure throughout the day. Taking time to mindfully experience lovely things (think flowers, your favorite tea, a hug, sex, stretching) will help you stay grounded, light, and hopeful in a world that throws so much at us on a daily basis.

Reasons you might not feel worthy of experiencing pleasure:

- there are problems in the world

- there are LOTS of problems in the world

- you're not at your "target weight/height/relationship status/career goal/etc"

- you have too much to do

- if you don't take care of all the work, who will

- you are privileged and therefore should only experience suffering as punishment

- you are oppressed and therefore should only experience suffering as reality

- your internal monologue here

The list goes on and on. In a culture poised to drive us into the ground, the simple act of pleasure can be a rebellion and a revolution. If you are willing to take as little as five minutes a day to notice and delight in the world around you, you may see your life start to change before your very eyes. To practice allowing and experiencing pleasure, follow three simple steps:

1. Notice

2. Feel

3. Give gratitude

Let's say your pleasure experience is going to be drinking your favorite flavor of tea. First, notice the tea - the smell, the texture, the temperature. Second, allow yourself to sink into and feel the pleasure of the experience. Is it the way the tea glides across your tongue? The way it warms your belly? Breathe and let the waves of pleasure move through your body. Feel a little risque as you experience pleasure sitting there at your desk? Good! Lastly, give gratitude. Thank the plant for its taste, the farmer who cared for and picked the crop, and thank yourself for taking a moment of mindfulness to give yourself joy and pleasure. Notice how your next interaction goes. Are you more joyful? Compassionate and understanding? These shifts are possible and could take less time than you think.

One of the things I help women and couples do is increase their experiences of pleasure in and outside of their relationships. If you struggle to feel worthy of experiencing pleasure, it could be because of unconscious agreements you have about yourself or how the world works. It could be you have experienced trauma or have difficulty surrendering to pleasure. You deserve sacred time and space to process hurts and deepen your experience of joy and self-love. Don't hesitate to reach out if you are interested in working with me or have questions about how this work could help you!

Email me at or call at 971-231-7421.

Share your pleasure practice (no explicit content)! Tag @beautifullifetherapy.



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